雅思作文需多积累高级句型 雅思写作学习

　　作文内容：
　　These days, the increasing   population caused a lot of problems in the cities. To solve these problems,   more and more business companies are encouraged to move to the rural area. I   agree that this trend would bring much convenience, although it has some   negative impacton [H1] to some extent.
　　This movement could   alleviate the burden on cities efficiently and bring people a more convenient   life. Many people have to travel to the countryside for work, in which case,   there will be less people travel in the cities and the traffic jam can be   avoided. The demand for houses will decline since more people move to the   countryside, and the housing price will drop accordingly. Therefore, people’s   life will be better and sense of happiness would arose.
　　Another advantage is that,   this policy can boost the development of the countryside and thus narrow the   gap between cities and rural area. IfTo run the   business successfully, infrastructures will[H2] should be built to provide solid   insurance for staff, for example, a well-equipped medical system, which   can offer health advice and timely treatments. The public transportation   between cities and the countryside can also be promoted. Working in the   countryside will become a new trend and appeal more specialized staff.
　　However, we cannot rule out   the possibility that overdevelop the countryside would cause serious   environmental problems, which[H3] arealready appeared in cities. As   such, government should make sure the construction is strictly planned and   aiming at minimizing the environmental impact to the suburbs.
　　To conclude, moving to the   countryside would benefits the business companies a lot, and   measures should be taken to prevent the process causing ecological problems.
　　[H1]改成on
　　[H2] Should是建议，这里用条件句更合适
　　[H3] 此处加系动词成为被动语态，所以不能加
　　各项细评：
　　针对问题最大的一点指出问题：
　　整体都挺不错的，但是说到弊端，自己又赞成利大于弊的时候，最好是绕回来，相当于if。。。Sth is done，...is not a problem.不要一直用should，因为题目不是solution和advice类。多积累高级句型。