托福考试中托福作文满分是怎样炼成的

　　首先，一篇好的作文，从内容和结构上，一定是符合要求的。文章主体段落由“主题句 论述 举例子 段落结尾句”的结构来进行论证，这是拿到25 最基本的要求。如果你的例子和论证的内容是很有道理、很贴切的（这和中文的议论文是一样的），在语言质量还不错的情况下，可以拿到27 。但是要拿到29分或者满分，主要是体现在语言质量上。下面，我把这位同学在课上的练习拿来给大家分析一下，我们一起来看看语言质量的踩分点都有什么，以及这位同学按照老师的要求实践之后的效果。
　　短 语 不 重 复
　　First of all, by studying only three to four subjects in high school, students would be more expert in the area they are dedicated to. When they give up some of the subjects that they aren't interested inand devote that time instead into specific apartments they are passionate about, the time allows them to achievedeeper understanding and better skills in these areas.
　　在这几个句子里，表达“投入于某事”这个意思，这位同学分别用了不同的短语“are dedicated to”和“devote time into”。表达“感兴趣的”，分别用了“be interested in”和“be passionate about”。表示“学科”这个概念，也没有全部都用subjects, 而用了area和apartment作为替换。表达同样的意思，一定要使用多个不同的表达。使用重复的语言，会让人觉得你语言匮乏。
　　平 行 结 构 的 使 用
　　你们有没有发现，上面那段话还有一个特点，那就是句式很“对仗”，英语中叫平行结构parallel structure，比如句中的they aren't interested in和they are passionate about 是一对，deeper understanding和better skills是一对，所以，像中文一样，英语也讲究这种工整的“对仗法”，读起来朗朗上口。
　　句 式 长 而 富 有 变 化
　　Instead, now that the physical resources are more abundant, parents do not have to worry too much about making a living with poor resources and concentrate their energy on their children.
　　满分作文的另外一个特点，就是句子要长，但不是刻意去写特别复杂的长难句。你们看上面这个句子，句子较长但是不晦涩，让人一读就明白意思。用了now that引导的状语从句，同时后面的主语是一个用and连接的并列句，值得注意的是，…have to worry too much about making a living后面还接了“with poor resources”,用with介词短语，又可以进一步把句子拉长，同时也解释了原因。
　　还需要注意句式的变化，如果上一句写了状语从句，那么下一句就换个句型，比如用by doing sth，sb will…这样的结构，再下一句就换成定语从句，然后再下一句可以用基本的主谓宾结构。总而言之，句式要72变！
　　用 词 准 确
　　Creativity does not symbolize irrationality and completely impromptu behaviors, and similarly planning does not mean following the old path with no changes applied at all.
　　什么是地道的英语？用词准确呀！当然，如果有高级的词，用得准确，那就更是加分项！上面这个句子，一眼看上去，就能看到几个高级词汇symbolize, irrationality, impromptu, similarly，用词准确是最重要的。用得不准确，就成“中式英语”啦。
　　满分作文的语言特点：短语不重复、平行结构的运用、句式长而富有变化、用词准确而高级。另外，这位满分作文的同学平时有很好的阅读习惯，基本每周都看一本小说或纪实，看时事类杂志、报纸。大量的阅读有助于提高词汇、短语、句式的整体水平，基础较弱的同学还需要在阅读时去刻意摘抄和背诵短语——非常重要。
　　一 篇 习 作
　　下面是这位同学平时的写作作业，供大家参考。
　　Question
　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
　　作文习作：
　　Socializing with people is always important throughout history. Friends and friendship became an eternal topic among people of all ages. I believe that the ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than to make new friends easily. Actually, this statement is a personal one, and my own amount of happiness would be significantly increased when I can keep my best friends' friendship permanent. This is for the following reasons.
　　First, old friends would understand each other better, and it is always more comfortable to stay with somebody who acts like close family. After their long remaining friendship throughout years, they would be able to fully understand each other, not only the superficial parts of someone's traits or hobbies, but also the deep understanding of their personality and thoughts. This is rare but would offer me extreme happiness. For example, I have been friends with nine people since elementary school. Now that we have travelled to other cities, played basketball matches as a team, and supported each other in different schools and even different countries, our bond between each other grew strong like an elastic. When I am hanging out with them, I always feel warmer and happier than with other friends that I have from my grade.

　　Second, close friends would have more realistic friendship with actual actions. There once was a theory of dividing one's friends into different layers. In the bottom layer, the friends would only exist on the internet, liking or reposting their friend's post in the distance. They don't act as real friends actually, for people cannot even meet many of them in real life. For example, once I decided to meet one of the new friends I made at school to shop around in the mall. We appeared distant, without saying much throughout the whole process. It was really uncomfortable for me because even if we regarded each other as friends, we acted like strangers when we were doing something together. As far as I'm concerned, authentic friendship would impress me more and make me feel happier than having a wide range of distant friends.
　　To sum up my ideas, I personally believe that the ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than to make new friends easily. Friends would always be my closest companions aside from family, and people should all try to maintain their friendship in future days.